Here are two horrific stories involving the murder of Australian and English men by their respective partners in 2 separate incidents. As sad as these murders are, I don't believe they were totally unexpected. People don't suddenly reveal themselves as murderers, or accessories to a murder. The areas and girls where these guys lived are famous for being drug and prostitution districts of the Philippines. One of the men even married a bar girl. What do they say 'You can take the girl out of the bar, but you can't take the bar out of the girl'. 'Good girls' dont even drink in this country, so best to stay away from those girls.
I dont think a person really knows themself at 25yo, so to marry a person from a different culture at that age, and from a poor country as well, you are just looking for trouble. not easy to understand women at that age. A PhD in psychology probably wouldn't help. A lot of life experience needs to pass under the bridge before you marry a foreign girl from a poor country.
Here are some tips:
1. Dont get involved with a girl with educational qualifications less than you. Why? Where is the basis for respect. A Filipino qualification will mean less than a foreign one (sadly), so they are already at a disadvantage.
2. Dont get involved with a girl more than 15 years younger than you. Age does matter. I think age differences over 15yo are likely to breed differences over time.
3. Dont get involved with a girl with relatives in prison or doing drugs. I wouldn't even do it in Australia. Knew an Australian girl once whose father was in prison for murder. Dropped her as soon as she said. It didn't even matter that she told me upfront. Don't want him tracking me down if we ever broke up.
4. Avoid girls with a sense of entitlement
5. Avoid girls without a good job
6. Avoid girls with family who dont have good jobs
7. Avoid girls if you dont get along with the family
8. Avoid girls with dependents, you are likely to feel the pressure to finance their education
9. Avoid girls that show any hint of delusion, unreasonableness
10. Avoid religious girls. Their hypocrisy will manifest in delusion. Avoid dogma. This is particularly important if they are ambitious.
11. Avoid frivilous, social climbers overly concerned with appearances
Of course these are general rules, and if you have a PhD you might think better of such guidelines. Of course these tragic murders might be taken as evidence of the Filipino character. I personally have met some pretty pathetic Filipinos on previous trips, but I was more impacted by the fine people I met. I met a few really sincere, real people on a few trips, and having surrounded myself with good Filipino people, I actually seldom meet the bad. There are little things, but not the murderous-types.
I dont think a person really knows themself at 25yo, so to marry a person from a different culture at that age, and from a poor country as well, you are just looking for trouble. not easy to understand women at that age. A PhD in psychology probably wouldn't help. A lot of life experience needs to pass under the bridge before you marry a foreign girl from a poor country.
Here are some tips:
1. Dont get involved with a girl with educational qualifications less than you. Why? Where is the basis for respect. A Filipino qualification will mean less than a foreign one (sadly), so they are already at a disadvantage.
2. Dont get involved with a girl more than 15 years younger than you. Age does matter. I think age differences over 15yo are likely to breed differences over time.
3. Dont get involved with a girl with relatives in prison or doing drugs. I wouldn't even do it in Australia. Knew an Australian girl once whose father was in prison for murder. Dropped her as soon as she said. It didn't even matter that she told me upfront. Don't want him tracking me down if we ever broke up.
4. Avoid girls with a sense of entitlement
5. Avoid girls without a good job
6. Avoid girls with family who dont have good jobs
7. Avoid girls if you dont get along with the family
8. Avoid girls with dependents, you are likely to feel the pressure to finance their education
9. Avoid girls that show any hint of delusion, unreasonableness
10. Avoid religious girls. Their hypocrisy will manifest in delusion. Avoid dogma. This is particularly important if they are ambitious.
11. Avoid frivilous, social climbers overly concerned with appearances
Of course these are general rules, and if you have a PhD you might think better of such guidelines. Of course these tragic murders might be taken as evidence of the Filipino character. I personally have met some pretty pathetic Filipinos on previous trips, but I was more impacted by the fine people I met. I met a few really sincere, real people on a few trips, and having surrounded myself with good Filipino people, I actually seldom meet the bad. There are little things, but not the murderous-types.
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6 comments:
After reading your post, I was appaled at first.. But, placing myself in your shoes. I would think the same as you.
And I just have to say, I appreciate your candidness and honesty of your opinion too.
A foreigner will always stick out rather oddly here. It is, indeed, wise to surround yourself with a support system that works for you. http://thephilguild.weebly.com/
You know I'm always amazed at how people from other countries view our culture, traditions and ethics. I think most of them are true but some people are just missing out a few things like they might have just exposed themselves to a limited or particular part of the country thus disabling (or at least I don't think they should be entitled to) or does not provide them ample experience and immersion of the country and it's too early to judge. I mean there are people who have just experienced how it's like in Manila without even viewing other parts of the Philippines and I think it's just plain unfair to judge a country fully with such a partial immersion to the culture. Ok so much about that, I gues I've already established my point.
No matter how saddening the truth may be, I couldn't agree more about staying away from most girls in those circumstances that you mentioned. I think it is worthy to note that being with affluent people and families of good background doesn't protect you from getting duped too. Just take the DJ Montano and Brian Gorrell case.
Here's my two cents for foreigners wanting to have a relationship with a Filipina. Be sure to know the person first before committing into a relationship or marrying that person. Take an outsider's point of view (not necessarily the naysayers) but at least you need to hear what other people, especially those in the community where the girl lives, and from them you will have a dual view of the person (not just the biased personal point of view of the girl and her family). You see, we are country known for its notoriety of being abusive (in a sense that we could be thought as scammers) but by carefully choosing whom you are dealing with, you will discover that just like every other country, people's attitudes, upbringing and ethics aslo varies. Thus, what worked for Joe may not work for Sam.
I'm very interested in doing biz and investing in the Phils but yes, many Westerners who live in the Phils tell me not to because of weak protection for foreigners and corruption. I'm still debating over whether to do it since the Koreans have gone to the Phils in force, with some quite successful.
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